There’s no question about it, many of us want healthy, respectful and meaningful relationships. We want passion, excitement and a sense of togetherness! We offer the best presentation of who we are when meeting a potential partner – no less warranted as our interaction continues.
The passion that we seek within our relationships can last a life time, it merely burns differently. A simmering fire occurs as we become practitioners of lessons learned. Personal and spiritual development is a constant in healthy relationships.
“A wise man/woman will hear and increase in learning; a man of understanding shall shall acquire wise counsel.” ~Proverbs 1:5 (NASB)
As we adhere to insight, applying its dictates – we bring into our lives an offering that impacts all of our life’s affairs. Without ardent regard for insight and her assistants – counsel, instruction, wisdom, understanding, etc – we bind ourselves and our relationships needlessly into cycles that hinder the very thing that we seek to establish…healthier and meaningful relationships.
Jim (my husband) and I have individual commitments that we adhere to on a daily basis (prayer, meditation, reading of scripture, etc.) – personal accountability. We each examine our thoughts, our beliefs and pay attention to how life impacts our emotions. It is in this way that we’ve learned to separate personal stuff from relational stuff. Additionally, we honor the path that we consider ourselves blessed to have created together. We define our union as a healthy relationship, not a perfect one.
“Counsel in the heart of man/woman is like deep water, but a man/woman of understanding will draw it out.” ~Proverbs 20:5 (KJV)
I am sure that you are very much aware of relational building tips, I’ve included a few more:
Asking our loved ones to alter their convictions or their personal philosophies for our comfort is a set-up for a relational set-back. We grow and learn differently, we have separate interests.
It is never a healthy alternative to lose our convictions, our boundaries, or our sense of self for the sake of any relationship!
Being accountable for our stuff (thoughts, behaviors, etc) is essential in healthy relating.
We must learn to listen and to respect our loved ones (this no different from our own desires) – it is one of the key elements in healthy relating.
It’s unrealistic to expect the relationship to grow when we’re not growing individually.
Acknowledging our wrongs when we’ve caused pain, demonstrating remorse with a change in behavior helps to repair the broken pieces over time.
Are you examining your relational patterns? What are you learning?
You’re always welcome to share your insights & wisdom.
Wishing you balance & well-being. ~Storm
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